u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
