i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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