Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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