Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
do nipples grow back?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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