I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
