I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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