Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
