Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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