remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
