you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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