i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
third nipple confirmed
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
