You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
