I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
