eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
