the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
