dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Even my vagina gasped.
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Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
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It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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