Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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