You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
