I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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