Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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