Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I need moral support for this bender
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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