Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
