Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
either way he was missing a nipple.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
