Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
