He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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