Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
