At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
