And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
