what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
