You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
