They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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