During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
