my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
