I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
