No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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