White coat. Heels.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
You can't motorboat a personality
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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