then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
