Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
