Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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