i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
