New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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