You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
