Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
