i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
