Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
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Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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