Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
