I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
