Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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