JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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