The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
