The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
