I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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