Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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