I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
