my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
