Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
