Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Randomize
