my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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