I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
