I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
You took a bar mat shot.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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